How are all of you beautiful blessed individuals? Know that I am sending positive energy your way in hopes that you pull the positive from your situation regardless of your situation 🙂
Today I am going to share an experience I had last week with you all about a small confrontation;how I handled it and how I see it now.
Wanna hear it, hear it go. Haha. Anyways I went into a sports bar called Twin Peaks to have some food and drinks in celebration of my best friend finding her wedding dress (It’s so GORGEOUS) There were 4 of us beautiful black women total. 🙂 well 3 and then me I am bi-racial. Lol. So let me tell you this about me, I am a very economical person not cheap but economical 😉 So when I see $5 margaritas it makes me happy. hahaha and that is what the special was at this place. So I order a margarita and the waitress says “The signature margarita?” I look at her like I’m not sure and say “the house margarita.”
Now keep in mind the margarita special was on a board as soon as you walk in.
We proceed to order our food and 45 minutes later it still had not come and the waitress did not update us on the status of our food or anything. So we order another round of drinks while we wait which also takes a good 20 minutes no exaggeration. Then we get our food and it was all that luke warm temperature; you know like it had been just sitting somewhere and my salad wasn’t made right.
So we tell the waitress about the cold/ incorrect food and she says she will get the manager. He comes, listens, and asks to replace our food. 2 girls say ok and one just says she will deal, he gives us a plate of fries for the inconvenience.
We get the bill and the margaritas say $10, so I speak with the waitress and she says “You ordered the signature margarita and it’s $10” I say we ordered the house margarita please tell your manager to come back over. He does but this time he was clearly bothered. I explain that we ordered the special that is on the board. He says we got the signature margarita which has a premium liquor and proceeds to describe the different liquors used in the margaritas. I say we made it clear we wanted the house and we weren’t even sure what kind of liquor came in it. He stands there sucking his teeth and shaking his head disappointed, bothered, and red. Grown man looking real silly for a good 45 seconds, no talking just flooding us with his energy until he finally walks away.
He comes back a few minutes later and asks “are you refusing to pay for all of these drinks” I say Yes, I am refusing to pay for something I did not order, I will pay for what I ordered. We can have the waitress come over so we can all discuss this. He says ” No need to discuss anything else I will just adjust the bill so we can get you all on your way” AKA get the **** out. Drop mike…lol
I felt an adrenaline rise up through my body, I grabbed my napkin from my lap and threw it on the table and said ” oh no I’m going to speak with someone else about this” My tone was not a pleasant one, I was pissed! Now,Me and my best friend have known each other for 11 years so she has seen my impulsive and anger provoked behavior more times than once. So she says in a stern tone ” No we aren’t going to take it there” and I did calm down really quick, we were there for her. So when he came back to the table I just looked the other way so I was not tempted to speak my mind…
Now for my thoughts post situation:
I was a waitress/bartender for over 10 years, so I am very familiar with the stereo types, the flow, and energy of these types of restaurants, bars… We were black women at a sports bar, we fall right into the stereo type of not tipping and being very picky so when things did actually end up being wrong the manager just immediately assumed we were complaining to try to get something free. So when he came over he did not ask us what we would like to fix the situation he just automatically said he can remake our food and get my salad out the correct way. I could tell he just did not want to discount the food in any way so instead he provided a reasonable solution in his mind. So 2 of the ladies said ok remake the food,one said she was ok keeping it as it is, and I waited on my salad to be remade.
In the midst of all this we were still waiting on a round of drinks we had ordered 20 minutes prior. The waitress never came over and explained why it was talking a while, never apologized or even acknowledged that things were not going the best. Then on top of it all she really went for the upsell without actually getting the sale. Of course her job is to offer the more expensive margarita, but if I say I want the house which is the special, you are very wrong for charging us for the more expensive one anyway.
So now that I have had time to evaluate my feelings after the fact this is what I came up with:
Disappointment, anger, embarrassment, and a little sadness underneath it all.
I felt disappointed in myself for not handling myself better, I could have expressed how I felt and left it there but I got in my feelings and I was not able to sort out the emotions that flooded my head.
I have always worked very hard for my money, since I was in high school I have had at least 2 jobs so it matters to me where and how I spend it. The waitress tried to charge double the price of something I ordered, then lied to her manager about it, didn’t care we were sitting around waiting for our food and drinks for an extended amount of time just because she didn’t bring it to us. If she would have brought it right when it was ready it would have still been hot food. The manager tried to guilt us into paying for what we did not order and at the end of it all told us to get the f*** out. That provoked me to feel very angry.
The tables around us started to look as the manager created a little scene and when I was unable to get it together after he made the offensive comments in front of my friends I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t get it together and embarrassed that he made it seem like we were the problem…just another group of angry black women.
I felt a little sad because situations like that really back people in a corner. If you fight back you are looked at as a problem and so you feel like a problem, if you back down so you don’t fall into the stereo type then you don’t get want you want, what you paid for, and you don’t get to stand up for yourself which can make you feel taken advantage of and weak.
So at the end of it all I am very proud of myself for being able to look at myself and evaluate my feeling rather than just add it to the pile of anger baggage I am sorting through and complain about it to my friends and family (transferring that negative energy to my loved ones.) Next time I get into a confrontation my goal is to take a few seconds to breath and release, then move according to myself not according to my emotions. Believe me, I have struggled for a long time with my impulsive Aries ways so me not cussing that man and that waitress out was a great accomplishment in itself…baby steps. Be grateful for your struggles big and small; they will only take you higher if you let them. I look at it as God showing me what I need to give a little more TLC 😉
Have a great day and pulllll the positive from every situation, circumstance, “problem; and if you just can’t at the moment just take a moment to be grateful for anything… Much Love!!
Comments are always welcomed, I’m always open to a different perspective.
R U Veracious?