Thoughts out loud

Crazy how your perspective can change when you take a few leaps back emotionally and really pay attention to your mental pattern.

I have people to talk to but I really want to talk to you and it’s really been a struggle not talking to you and accepting that I can’t. 

So I talk to the ones I trust and I continue to build that trust for myself.
This time has told me repeatedly that things don’t happen on “my time”, They happen when they are supposed to… When they are meant to and fighting that can only cause excess stress.
This time is exciting when I really think about it but it is frustrating. Haaha… 

Patience, not so comfortable for an Aries woman such as myself, but I’m proud of myself for building and taking responsibility without tearing myself down. I have a good heart although I can be selfish at times. I care about people although sometimes I am harsh. I am strong even though sometimes I feel weak. I am actively holding myself to a higher level of integrity although I don’t always do the right thing.

I appreciate this time in my life. A time to be a little still and accept my current position in life without giving up and consistently putting forth effort to progress. “I have to work hard to become successful”. I have to work hard on me and love myself first.

I don’t ever want to look down on anyone for choosing their own path. I haven’t always made the best decisions but I am sharing my mistakes with others in order to plant seeds as much as possible without looking for an immediate return or any at all.

I am practicing the concept of Expectation. On one end I don’t want to ever expect specific actions from anyone. I don’t want to expect you to love me the way I want because I can only control the way I love. “When a person loves you in a way that you do not like that is the time you know you love them because you are receiving absolutely nothing in return for loving them.”
On the other hand I will not remain in a situation that provokes me to be unhappy. I will have standards and know my worth and what I deserve.
I will not except excuses from myself therefore I will not except them from others.I only expect to be happy and that is a choice only I can make.
I am perfect in my own way as is everyone.

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